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Archive-name: Fantasy/ghost.txt

Archive-author: Oon Goh

Archive-title: Ghost - The Long Goodbye





	A Fantasy.... I think.

	Some experiences were drawn from true-life. Others were

the product of an over-active imagination with no life :) All characters

depicted in the story are fictitious, and any resemblences to persons

living, dead, or comatose are purely coincidental.

	Any comments, compliments, or complaints may be directed to

ogoh@sfu.ca.

	The author makes no guarantee that the story will satisfy you.

THAT is entire in your HANDS :)





	GHOST: The Long Goodbye.



     It all began with the accident. I had swerved to avoid an

on-coming car, ran off the road, yanked on the wheel to get back

onto the road (big mistake), went into spin and smashed into one,

then another post. I lost consciousness then.



     When next I was aware, the darkness had been replaced by

light, very bright lights. I could hear voices, urgent, but not

frantic. I looked to see who these voices belonged to, and saw a

group of five, maybe six people gathered about something. I

couldn't see what they were doing nor make out what they were

saying. I was still feeling lightheaded and disoriented and the

whole scene seemed almost dreamy. Nevertheless, it felt important

that I know what these people were doing and somehow, despite my

disorientation, I managed to move in for a closer look.



     I didn't know what I expected, but I certainly didn't expect

to see myself lying on an emergency room table with doctors and

nurses all around. There was an oxygen mask of some sort over my

nose and mouth and tubes in my arms, nose, mouth. I also noticed

a bloody spot on my left temple. For a moment, an image of a huge

telephone pole slamming into the side of my car flashed through

my memory, and I sort of recall smashing my head into the side of

the car.



     The image cleared and I was seeing myself, my body, lying

there with all those tubes and needles. I didn't look very

comfortable. But I didn't feel any of it.



     So. This is death, I thought. Or close to it.



     Just as well. I really had nothing to live for. 



     So... where's the tunnel, bright lights, and long-dead

relatives who are supposed to great me? I had never believed in

those near death experiences of those people reported in the

supermarket tabloids, but they were remarkably consistent about

some of the details. I looked around. Nope. No tunnels, bright

lights or dead relatives. I realised that I was floating quite

close to the ceiling. Could I go through it?



     Yep. It felt strange, or maybe it was my imagination. But

there I was, my head (non-corporeal) sticking out of the floor of

the next level of this hospital, while the rest of my body was

still in the floor below. From my position, I couldn't really see

anything so I decided to go all the way up. I don't quite know

how I move... I just do.



     There was a bed here with curtains drawn around it. Curious,

I looked in. There was a middle-aged woman, slightly overweight

lying on her side while a young nurse gave her a sponge bath. She

was naked from the waist up and I could see a fresh surgical scar

on her abdomen.



     The nurse was gently sponging her back as I moved around to

get a better look. She was beautiful. She wore little or no

make-up, or at least none that I could see. Her short, dark brown

hair was neat and practical. Here nurse's uniform hugged her

figure and showed curves where curves should be. The cut of her

uniform seemed to emphasize her breasts.



     But it was her face that held my attention. 



     Rachel!



     For some reason, she reminded me of Rachel. And with the

memories came the pain. No! I should not be able to feel the

pain. I'm dead! Dead! I'm beyond pain!



     But it was there. The pain I had tried to bury and forget

came flooding back. I had lost her even before I ever really had

her. It hurt then, but I couldn't believe it still hurts after

all these months. 



     And suddenly, I knew what I wanted to do. I just hope I have

the time to do it before the whole tunnel and lights scene

starts.



     I'm going to say good-bye to Rachel.



     I left through the window. Literally. It was a cool summer

night, but I didn't feel it. I hovered outside the hospital for a

moment to get my bearings. Then I set off.



     It was a beautiful night. The heat of the day beginning to

dissipate, but I didn't feel it. The cityscape at night was

beautiful. But I didn't see it. The almost full moon in a

star-studded night sky must have been a rare sight but I missed

it. 



     I was wondering how I might say good-bye.



     I don't know how long it took me to get to Rachel's

apartment. I didn't exactly travel in a straight line. "Flying"

is quite different from driving and I made several course

corrections as I passed familiar landmarks. But it didn't seem to

me to take very long. It would have been at least a 45 minute

drive. But perhaps becasue of grief, or perhaps because time has

little meaning for someone in my state, it didn't seem that long.



     I counted the windows and found Rachel's. I flew right in.

And flew right out again.



     She was in there with someone! I couldn't see who he was,

but the tangle of arms and legs, half-undone clothes pulled and

twisted aside to allow access to various body parts was

unmistakably that of a couple making out, or in the early stages

of foreplay.



     What do I do now? I couldn't go in and watched. It would

hurt too much to see the woman I love share a very intimate part

of her life with someone else while I WATCHED! I know she does,

but knowing it intellectually and watching and knowing from

experience is a big difference. So what do I do? 



     I couldn't wait till they were done... I may have to go any

minute now. What do I DO?



     I have to say good-bye. She was the only meaningful part of

my life. She was my life. No matter how much it hurts now, I will

hurt an eternity if I left without saying good-bye. 



     So, taking a deep breath (metaphorically), I floated closer

to the apartment window. The curtains were drawn, so I had to

push my head through. They were on the couch. In front of the

couch, the TV was playing an old episode of "Cheers". The room

was lit by a single lamp at the end of the couch. I went all the

way in, until I could look at her face. She was on her back, the

guy was busy with her breast or something. I was trying to ignore

him. I just looked into Rachel's face.



     Her eyes were closed. Her lips were half parted, enough for

me to see those even white teeth and a little bit of her tongue

peeking between the two rows of teeth. As I watched, her tongue

flicked out to lick her lips before returning to the half-parted

position. Her nostrils were flared and her breath came in deep

gasps. Her long hair was splayed about her face. 



     "Rachel, I came to say good-bye," I began. "I -- I want to

thank you for the small part of your life that you shared with

me. It may be a small part of your life, but it meant the world

to me."



     "Uuhhhmmm, " she moaned.



     "I will always remember the night we first kissed. I was so

mervous, it was such a clumsy kiss, but you said afterwards that

you liked it."



     "Yes! Oh, yes!" she gasped.



     "I have never met anyone like you; so sure of what you want.

I can almost feel your body against mine like the night we danced

that slow dance. I still remember how you pressed your body into

mine and how I held you tight, afraid to let go, because I guess

even then, I knew I did not deserve you."



     "Huh! Huh! Huh!" she breathed.



     "And when you felt me holding you tight, you began to move

against my body. I still feel your thighs rubbing against mine,

my cock hard against your belly, your hands on my ass keeping the

pressure on. As I ran my hands along the crack of your ass, you

squirmed against my body."



     "Ooooohhhh!" she moaned.



     "And then we kissed. I tilted your head to face mine, and

lowered my lips onto yours. You closed your eyes then, as you are

doing now. Your lips were parted then, as they are now. And then

we kissed. A slow, gentle kiss that turned more and more

passionate."



     "Hhhmmmmm," she sighed.



     I didn't realised it but I had moved forward until now, my

face was very close to hers. I somehow knew that I couldn't kiss

her, but I still tried. I leaned forward, and lowered my lips

onto hers...



     And felt nothing. I couldn't kiss her good-bye. I gazed into

her face from that nothing distance and wanted to cry. So

close... and I might have been a hundred miles away for all the

good it did me.



     Suddenly I regretted coming.



     And just as suddenly, I could feel her lips! And she was

kissing me!



     No! Not me! The guy had moved up again to kiss her, and for

the brief moment when our faces shared the same space, I had felt

what he felt!



     He was kissing her on the neck now. I moved my face there

and merged into his. Immediately, my senses were filled with the

scent and person of Rachel. I could smell her perfume, the scent

of her shampoo on her hair, and more. Senses which I had not had

for a while (since my death) were suddenly back again and that

brief sensory deprivation had sharpened my senses and my

appreciation of them. The scent of Rachel, the taste of Rachel,

the feel of Rachel were all so incredibly alive!



     Glorious! I had never felt so alive! I wanted to laugh. And

just a moment ago I had wanted to cry. The turnaround was so

sudden, it left me confused for a moment.



     The guy's face was still buried in Rachel's neck, but he was

moving down. I wanted a kiss. Kiss her! On the lips! I thought at

him. Whether he "heard" me or had intended to do so of his own

accord, he returned to her lips.



     We began gently. Barely touching at first, then steadily

more pressure, our lips met. Occasionally, Rachel would dart her

tongue between his/my lips, sending a wave of pleasure and

sensation, but all he/I did was clasped her lips with his/mine. I

wanted to taste her. Somehow I managed to take over. don't ask me

how, I just did it. I pried her willing lips open (did she sigh?)

with my/his tongue. My/his tongue darted in between her teeth,

did the tango with hers, then withdrew for a while. I tickled the

inside of the upper lip with my/his tongue, while I move my/his

arms around her. Then when I was ready, I pulled her closer as I

dove into her mouth. (Did her eyes pop open?) I ran my/his tongue

behind the back of her upper teeth, trying to tickle the roof of

her mouth, and also the insides of her cheeks.



     I saw then that my move had surprised her; her eyes were

opened. (Was there a glint of recognition in her eyes?)



     I closed my eyes now, giving myself to the sensations that

were flooding through me. Rachel's tongue was now invading my

mouth. I surrendered to her persistence and enjoyed it.



     When we finally broke the kiss, my hands which had been

caressing and playing with her breasts under her t-shirt, gripped

the t-shirt and pulled it over her head. She raised herself above

the couch and lifted her arms to help me with that. She had

beautifully proportioned breasts, large for her size without

making her seem top-heavy. They were firm, yet soft to the touch,

peaked by rubbery-hard nipples rash-red from the efforts and play

of my hands. Her bra had been pushed up into a mess above them

and I didn't like that. I reached behind to unsnap it but had no

idea what I was doing. So, she helped me.



     Then she helped me with my shirt.



     When we were both naked from the waist up, I kissed her lips

briefly before moving onto her chin, her neck, then her breast,

before locking onto her nipple. She gave a shudder and arched her

body toward me, driving her breast as deep into my mouth as she

could. On my part, I tried to take all that she was offering into

my mouth and lips. My mouth was wide opened, the corners so

stretched they hurt. My lips massaged the breast while my tongue

lashed the nipple trapped within.



     She gasped and moaned while her arms pulled me closer into

that pleasure mound.



     I alternate between left and right breasts a couple of times

before I returned to her lips and asked her to unzip my jeans.

This she did, while I was getting her belt off. I was unzipping

her jeans when she grabbed my cock. Or rather his/my cock. And

suddenly I remembered I was in a borrowed body. 



     "No," I murmured.



     "W-What?" she asked.



     I pulled her hand from inside my briefs and demonstrated how

I wanted her to rub my/his cock through the briefs. I was rubbing

her cunt through her panties, too. It was feeling rather wet. I

wanted very much to fuck her, but not with someone else's body.

Who would be making love to her? He or I? Who would she be making

love to? Him or me? She would have shared another part of her

life with me, and it would mean a lot to me. But this time, she

wouldn't even know it was me. 



     And suddenly, the whole situation depressed and angered me.



     Worst of all, I took out my frustrations on Rachel.



     I got up off her and pulled her to her feet rather roughly.

She complied, almost meekly, and for some reason, that angered me

even more. She was facing me as I pulled down my jeans and briefs

all in one move. She started to remove hers, but I stopped her

and turned her around so that her back was to me.



     My strange behaviour must have been disconcerting if not

outright frightening to her, but she made no protests or

complaints. Again, for some perverse reason, that only angered me

more.



     This borrowed body was about my height which means Rachel

only came up to my chin. She was small. I grabbed the back of her

jeans and pulled her towards me. Pulling open the top of the

jeans and her panties, I stuck my cock inside, against the crack

of her ass.



     Then I pulled her arms behind her and me. I placed a couple

of fingers of each of her hands in the crack of my ass and then

tensed my butt muscles. Her hands were caught there. It was not a

very secure hold and if she really wanted to pull her hands out,

she could have, but she played along. And I got angrier.



     Now I slid my right hand into her panties and felt the soft

down of her pubic hair. Further down, I felt the heated wetness,

and the slit of her sex. I began to rub a finger or two along the

slit, slowly insinuating my fingers in, a little deeper each

time.



     My left hand played with her breasts awhile before I reached

up and tilted her head to the right, exposing her left ear. If I

remember, her ears are very sensitive. I leaned in to nuzzle,

kiss, lick and nibble her ear. She went wild!



     The combination of my fingers in her cunt and my tongue in

her ear drove her to try to escape from the exquisite torture.

She wanted to go back and up to escape my hand. This put her ear

closer to my tongue, so she tries to go down -- into my hand. All

the while, the up and down movement is translated by my cock into

pleasurable sensations.



     The movement became more frantic and her jeans began to

slide down her legs, as much from her movements as from my own

efforts as my cock tried to slide down deeper along the crack of

her ass. Mindlessly, my cock was searching for her cunt. 



     Between my cock and my right hand, I managed to pull her

panties to her mid-thighs. My cock was now between her legs and I

was beginning to lose control. Any time now I knew I was going to

be unable to stop myself from fucking her and I did not want to

do that; not in another person's body. I could see my cock

peeking out from between her legs which was squeezing open and

close. It was too much. Fortunately she came to my aid. I had

leaned forward a little and the tension in my butt was broken for

a while. Her hands loose, she brought them around to grab the

shaft of my cock. 



     She came then, I think.



     Then she started pounding away on my cock. I lost touch with

her ear, unable to concentrate. It was all I could do the keep my

fingers in her cunt moving. The pressure behind my cock had been

building for some time now and it was going to be uncontainable

soon.



     At the last moment I pulled my hand out of her cunt and grab

her hands on my cock to hold them still. I held the pressure and

for a while I thought I might just be able to keep from going

over. But no.



     Once.



     Twice.



     And another spurt. A shudder and we collapsed to the floor.



     I disengaged from the body and floated free.



     Good-bye, Rachel. I love you. 





********



     As I drifted out into the night, a deep sorrow took hold of

me. 



     Regrets. Regrets. Regrets.



     I had that one chance to make love to Rachel, one chance to

know her love and I had turned it aside. Why?



     So what if it was a borrowed body? What difference does it

make? It's still she and I. Why? Why? Why?



     Because it makes all the difference in the world. I want her

to know it is me. I want her to choose me. Any other way would be

meaningless. That way would have been rape. That way would have

been stealing. That way makes no difference in the way she sees

me.



     And perhaps that was why I was angry. I was angry with me,

not with her. I was stealing another's experience. It was what

she was going to share with him, not me, but I took it anyway.

And when she went along with my game, I got angrier each time

because it was not my game as she saw it, but his game she was

going along with. I was jealous. Jealous that someone else had

her trust, her intimacy, that private side of her. And everything

she had shared with me, was meant to be shared with him. I had

taken what I had no right to take.



     Oh Rachel! Will you ever forgive me?



     How can she? She doesn't even know!



     Take me away from this place! I can't stand being here

anymore. Take me! Now!



     Silence. No tunnel. No bright lights. No dead relatives.



     Even the dead doesn't want me.



     I looked up. Tonight was a clear night. Not a cloud. No

smog, dust or any thing to mar the starfield. It was beautiful. A

beautiful night with no one to share it with. I decided to head

upwards. To the stars. I could feel myself rising. But the stars

got no closer. I aimed for the nearly full moon. It didn't get

any bigger or closer.



     I looked down and noticed that I had not risen very much

higher than when I started. And the hospital where I had died was

close by. I had not intended to return to the hospital, so I must

have been drawn here. Perhaps I need to be close to my body when

the whole tunnel and light show begins. 



     I drifted into the hospital through a second floor window..

It was quite late now and the corridors were quiet and the lights

dimmed. Patients were sleeping in their beds. There were some

snoring, but mostly it was quiet. I wonder where they had put my

body. Well, I've lots of time to look around. 



     I had wandered for what seemed like hours, through the

wards, nurses stations, doctors office, a couple of

pharmaceutical stores, a kitchen, and even a few broom closets of

sorts. Then I drifted through a wall and heard heavy breathing. 



     I looked around the semi-darkness and figured it was some

kind of linen store. The heavy breathing was coming from the far

side of the room. I moved in for a closer look and found a couple

locked in a passionate embrace. The man was probably in his late

twenties, youngish. From his coat and such, he was probably a

houseman or an intern of some sort to have to pull the graveyard

shift. He was quite slim, with just a bit of fat on the waist.

But over all, I'd say he looked to be in better shape than me, at

least, me as in my body. In this state, I didn't really have a

body.



     But I quickly shifted my attention to the woman. It was the

nurse that had reminded me of Rachel.



     She had a gorgeous body, much like Rachel's. Her breasts

might be slightly bigger, but not by much. Her face was contorted

with ecstasy and a high keening whine was coming out from behind

her clenched teeth. The whine, more like a moan, would be

interupted by a series of sharp gasps as she took in more air.

The source of her excitement was the young intern at her breasts.

He was doing great things to her.



     And she seemed to enjoy it immensely. She had her arms

wrapped around him as though she wouldn't let him leave her

breasts. I envied her just as I envied Rachel (and all women for

that matter) for having such responsive bodies with so many

sensitive spots.



     Then I thought of something. 



     I moved into the nurse's body, slowly settling my spirit

self into her form. And immediately I was flooded with so much

sensations I gasped, in unison with the nurse. The incredible,

exquisite sensory overload was sweet, sweet agony until I was

able to sort them out. The fiery gnawing on her/my right breast

was the young intern nibbling, nipping, licking, sucking, teasing

and pinching her/my right nipple. Even as I became aware of the

individual actions, the intern started nibbling on the breast and

nipple again. He caught her/my nipple between his teeth and

threatened it with a slight pressure of his teeth.



     The mix of fear and desire was incredible. I wanted him to

take me, to control me, and at the same time I was afraid he

would.

     

     He released the nipple and began to lick and suck. Of their

own volition, her/my arms pulled him in close. I could not

believe how hot a human mouth could be until I had experienced

that nurse's breast in that young intern's mouth.



     He moved over to the other breast and the furnace of his

mouth covered the rigid nipple. His hot, wet tongue teased the

sensitive teat together with teeth, and lips, sending wave after

wave of sensations; fear and desire, pain and pleasure. As I

looked down at this man worshipping me and tormenting me at the

same time I felt an incredible rush of love feelings for him. And

tenderly, I caressed his hair.



     As if that was the signal he wanted, he left the breasts and

moved his face down, making a trail of kisses as he went along.

Each kiss sent a shiver through me, so intimate was his kiss of

lips and tongue. Finally, he reached the bush that was her/my

cunt. He froze there for a moment and for a moment I was afraid

he would stop there and at the same time I was afraid he would go

on. 



     Then he looked up, as though making sure I was watching,

making sure I knew what he intended, what was in it for me. Then

he plunged into the crevasse of her/my cunt. If his tongue had

been an aggravating torment of pleasure, it now became maddening

in its intensity. He began with the area surrounding her/my

clitoris which sent rippling waves of paralysing ecstasy through

her/my body. He kept that up for a while, then he completely

encircled her/my clit with his lips and the threat and the

promise both collided within my mind and drove me out of it. 



     The wet heat surrounding her/my clit turned her/my legs to

jelly, only a little more substantial than the lubricating fluids

that was now seeping out of her/my cunt. Her/my feet were

beginning to tingle.



     And then he stabbed her/my little clit with his tongue which

sent her/my body into an epileptic pleasure fit. Her/my body

shook uncontrollably as he lashed and licked and suck on her/my

little button of pleasure. 



     The tingle that had started at the sole of her/my feet had

spread up the legs, and had began to settle in the pit of her/my

stomach. It became an urge to do something. I don't know what.

Then, a steadily building pressure. She/I started to breathe

faster and in short gasps. Her/my hips were bucking wildly,

trying to grind her/my clit and cunt into his mouth, even as

her/my thighs wanted to clamp his head there. Her/my bucking got

wilder as his tongue flickered faster and faster and her/my clit

grew harder and hotter, and the pressure grew stronger and

stronger until finally... release!



     She came! I came! He kept licking!



     She came! I came! He kept licking!



     She/I came!



     She/I collapsed from the exertion of that triple climax. No

strength to do anything except to gasp for air.



     But the young intern was not done yet. Pulling down his

trousers and briefs, he knelt in between her/my spread apart

legs. His stiff cock fully engorged, he leaned forward. She/I

reached for it and grasped it to help him get it in. It slipped

in easily enough and she/I had this sensation of being filled. At

the same time the pressure and pleasure from the invasion of

her/my body was rippling through her/my sensitized body. Somehow,

her/my legs had regained enough strength to lock themselves

around his waist. 



     The we began the age-old rhythm of the recreation of life.



     He began slowly and she/I followed his rhythm. Each thrust

of his cock seemed to be building up some of the pressure that

was released in the orgasms. Slowly, steadily he picked up the

rhythm and she/I matched it. Finally he was like a frenzied

bronco as he plunged faster and faster into her/my cunt, and

then, he thrust deep, held it there and came.



     But she/I hadn't come, so turning over with him still

inside, she/I rode on his still stiff prick until she/I came one

more time.



     As I lay there for a while, I looked at the young intern and

couldn't help feeling sorry for him as he only came one time. A

woman's body is incredibly sensitive and sensuous. I love it. The

warmth glow of aftersex was still in her body and it felt good. I

didn't want to leave this body yet. It had so much to offer. And

the best part was I wasn't even in control. I was just along for

the ride, and enjoying it. 



     After a while, we got up, cleaned ourselves up with a few

pieces of linen, and dressed up. We exchanged kisses and left the

room separately. 



     The warm glow remained for a long time and I just stayed in

the body, enjoying it. I had no place to go and all the time in

the world to get there. If someone wants to get me across into

the world of the dead, they'll have to look for me. I'm tired of

waiting for them.



     Then about dawn, I overheard some talk regarding me, or

rather my body. 



     "Has the next-of-kin of the accident victim been contacted?"



     "We tried his home number, but apparently he lives alone.

Maybe his office might have more information. We'll try the

office number later when it's open."



     I have no kin here in this city. You'll just be wasting your

time. But... there is someone I wanted them to notify. I've said

my good-bye to Rachel, but if she doesn't know I'm gone, it would

mean nothing. Did I still mean anything to her. I wanted to know

that. I needed to know.



     We were close once, maybe still. If there's anyone I would

call friend, it's her. I would like for her to say good-bye to

me. My good-bye to her means little if she doesn't know I am

gone.



     Yes. That's it.



     I took over the nurse's body now.



     I went to a phone and called Rachel. She picked up the phone

after seven rings and sounded like she had been awakened from

sleep.



     "Hello. Is this Rachel?" I asked.



     "Uh-huh," she murmured.



     "I'm sorry to disturb you so early in the morning. I'm

calling from Memorial Hospital and we have a patient brought in

late last night and we have been trying to find his next-of-kin.

Anyway, we found your name and number in his wallet and wondered

if you could help identify him."



     "Who is it?" asked Rachel, sounding much more awake now and

a little worried.



     I gave her my name.



     "Yes, yes. I know him. What happened?"



     "I can't give you all the details over the phone. Could you

come down to verify his identity and perhaps help us to contact

his next-of-kin?"



     "Yes, yes. I'll be right over."



     She's coming.



     It took her almost two hours to get to the hospital. Blame

it on morning rush hour.



     I had left the nurse's body and was waiting at the reception

desk when she walked in. She looked lovely. She enquired at the

reception desk, and was referred to a doctor who brought her to

the room where my body lay.



     I was not dead!



     As the doctor briefed her on my condition, I looked at

myself. I was breathing regularly without aid. Most of the tubes

and needles were gone except for one intra-venous drip. A

slightly bloodstained bandage was on my left temple. Other than

that, I looked not too bad.



     "He was brought in unconscious and haven't come out of the

coma at all. It's all very strange. His brain scan shows

abnormally high activity, but no consciousness. We don't know how

long he will be like this. He might wake the next minute or not

for months." 



     The doctor now left us alone. Rachel took the seat beside

the bed and look into my face. The face on my body anyway. I was

staring at hers. She touched my hand, then my face. I wish I

could feel it, but later. I wanted to listen to her. 



     "Hi," she said. 



     "Hello," I said, but of course she can't hear me.



     "It's been some time since we last saw each other."



     "Yes it has," I said, softly.



     "I've been busy," she said. "Working at my new job, making

new friends." She paused for a moment, then, "but I haven't

forgotten my old friends. I still think of you now and then."



     "Why, just last night I thought of you," she said with a

nervous laugh. "It's kinda strange, but there's this guy and some

of the things he did, well, reminded me of you."



     So you did noticed.



     "It was kinda scary too," she continued. "I can't explain

really. It was like you WERE there; like it was you I was..." she

stopped, embarrassed.



     "Maybe it was you." She was holding my hand now. Was that

shimmering in her eyes, tears? "Maybe it was you reaching out to

me."



     "Yes, it was," I said. "And I'm still here, still reaching

out to you." I merged may spirit hand with the real hand in hers.

I could feel her again. The soft palms, the delicate yet strong

fingers. She tensed suddenly, the grip tightening. (Did she feel

my presence?)



     She raised my hand to her lips and gently kissed the back.

Her lips lingered for a while, a tear formed in her right eye. I

watched as the tear rolled down and touch my finger held there

against her cheek. It felt hot.



     She sniffed, gathered herself, and wiped away the tear.



     "I've got to go," she said.



     Then she leaned over my bed and kissed me on the lips. Then.

she turned and walked away.



     "Rachel, don't go," I said.



     She stopped. (Could she have heard me?)



     Then I realised I was back in my body! She did hear me! I

did speak.



     She turned and I could see her face again. She was

beautiful. Her eyes seemed to shine with an inner light. She

whispered softly, "Hi."



     "I missed you," I managed to say, then I felt incredibly

weary and my eyes started to go unfocused. Rachel dissolved into

the gathering darkness, her face blurring. I struggled to hang

onto life, to consciousness.



     I tried to leave the body, but I couldn't. It began to get

darker, I could still make out Rachel's silhoutte as she dashed

forward. (Was there fear on her face?). I started to panic! No! I

don't want die now! I have something to live for now!



     Nooooo!

--



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